For many women asking for help is foreign to them. They are so busy helping others that they don’t think to or even know how to ask for help themselves.
Deborah Cohan (see video) gives us a wonderful example of asking for what we need. Moments before she goes into surgery for a double mastectomy she has a dance party. In the operating room. With the medical staff. A dance party before surgery?! Who thinks of that? And then who does it? Most of us would be weeping or scared or any number of emotions but we would not be dancing.
Notice that Deborah is not the only one dancing. She has the whole operating room smiling and dancing with her. These are not her friends but nurses and doctors who came to work that day to operate on her. They came to perform a surgery but agreed to dance with her simply because she asked.
Deborah didn’t “dance like nobody was watching”, she danced like the world was watching, and the look on her face is priceless. Don’t you want that feeling, that support, that joy, even in the face of fear or misery? Don’t you want others to know what you’re going through so they can help you and love you and dance and cry with you?
You don’t have to be headed into surgery to ask for help. Start small. When someone offers to carry a heavy bag. Let them! When someone asks if you need anything at the grocery store, let them pick up bread for you. When someone asks how you’re doing, tell them. Not the standard, “I’m fine” but a true answer of how you’re doing. Give your friend/partner/family/co-worker a chance to help and support you simply by asking for what you need. They’ll feel good and you’ll have help. You don’t have to do it all on your own.