Ask the average Black woman what she loves doing with her friends and you will get answers like, “going out for drinks,” “travelling,” and “going shopping.”

The older we get, though, the more complicated and complex our financial realities become— student loans, mortgages, auto loans, and credit card debt. On top of that,  Black women have a  singular and more taxing financial experience; when compared to other groups, Black women are more likely to carry the fiscal responsibilities (aka burdens) of their multi-generational households on a single income.

The nature of these money matters makes it so important for us to discuss the cost of the weekly or monthly turn-up.  It’s a sign of mature and true friendship when you think about the possible financial obligations that your friends might have when you are planning for our next outing.

So if you are single, well paid, and free from thinking about summer camp for the little one and college tuition for the big one, simply asking your more financially-committed BFF, “Hey, Girl, I’m thinking about making reservations for us for dinner. What’s your budget looking for dinner or drinks?” will strengthen your bond, I promise. Similarly, if you are married with a lot of money, don’t be afraid to tell pose the same question to friends that have to go solo on household expenses and financial responsibilities.

I have made this question a staple in my conversations with all of my girlfriends to eliminate the need to spend more than they can afford. I don’t want them to have to choose friendship over their finances.

Most of my friends are so thankful that I bring it up. They say, “Girl, I am so glad that you asked me, because I was doing the math in my head for gas, parking, and drinks, and it was getting to be too much.”

I think the budget question allows for Black women to broach the topic of money and personal boundaries in an organic and meaningful way; embedded in the question is an overture for women to connect and support each other grow stronger in their friendships as well as our finances.

[bctt tweet=”The nature of these money matters makes it so important for us to discuss the cost of the weekly or monthly turn-up. ” username=”frugalfeminista”]

If you need deeper work around healing your relationship with money or overcoming your blocks and fears, maybe it’s time for some money therapy.