You’d be surprised how often financial shame is at play. It’s that stinging sense of failure over where you are with your money or the choices you’ve made in the past. Guilt is about what you did; shame is more insidious; it makes you think there’s something wrong with you.
Be it a mountain of credit card debt, a bankruptcy on your record, or just not being able to make ends meet, this kind of shame has a way of putting you in a corner. Research from the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau shows that financial well-being isn’t determined by income alone. Feeling in control of your finances plays a major role in the decisions you make every day. To get to a better place, you have to start by understanding what’s going on.
Financial Shame: What It Is, Signs, and How to Get Past It
This isn’t just having a bad day with your wallet. It’s how you view yourself and how you come across to the people around you. Left to fester, it can erode your self-assurance and put a damper on any forward progress. Financial shame often stems from long-held beliefs about money and self-worth. The Unlock Your Money Story Quiz can help you uncover the patterns and experiences that may be shaping your financial mindset today.
You’ll spot it in some telltale ways:
- You put off opening a bank statement or checking a balance.
- Money is a no-go topic with even your closest friends and family.
- You can’t help but measure up against other people’s success.
- You’re convinced you’ll never put your house in order after a misstep.
- Making a call on your finances feels like too much, so you don’t.
- A knot in your stomach every time the subject of money is broached.
It becomes a vicious circle. The more you run from your numbers, the more of a headache they become. Recognizing these behaviors is the first step toward change. The Abundance Audit Workbook includes guided exercises to help you uncover limiting money beliefs and begin replacing them with healthier financial habits.
Where Does Financial Shame Come From?
There are plenty of roots for this. Some of us were raised with the idea that your net worth is your worth. Then there are the hard knocks: a layoff, a divorce, an unanticipated medical bill. These leave marks.
And let’s not forget the comparison game. Scroll through social media, and it looks like everyone has their act together. In truth, most are dealing with things you can’t see.
The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau has some data to back this up: being well off financially is about more than the size of your paycheck. It’s also about how in control you feel and what you know.
How Financial Shame Affects Your Life
Shame doesn’t just live in your checking account. It can seep into your mental health, your relationships, and even your work.
You might be in a position to ask for a raise but hold back because you don’t think you deserve it. Or you put off getting some sound advice because you don’t want to be put on the spot. Some folks will just turn a blind eye to debt and let the fees add up. We can all relate to these reactions, but they don’t do you any favors in the long run.
How to Overcome Financial Shame
For one, own up to the fact that we all have our moments. A rough patch with your finances doesn’t write your story.
- Be straightforward with your numbers. Put down the judgment and look at the facts: your income, what you owe, what you have. Clarity is the antidote to fear.
- Don’t try to put the whole world to rights in a day. Pick one thing. Tackle a bill, put a little aside for a rainy day, or put a budget in place.
- When you catch yourself thinking, “I’m no good with money,” reframe it. “I’m in the process of getting better at this.”
- If it’s too much to handle on your own, have an open talk with someone or bring in a professional. It lightens the load.
- And for heaven’s sake, don’t wait for perfection to be happy with where you are. Make a payment, save a few bucks, make a good call on your finances and give yourself some credit for it.
Mishaps happen. But you don’t have to let them be who you are. With some hard work and less of the inner critic, you can put together a future you can feel good about. Healing your relationship with money is an ongoing journey. Her Wealth Journey: Your Personal Year in Review for Financial Growth provides guided reflections to help you recognize your progress, celebrate financial wins, and create meaningful goals for the future.
