I panic and recoil when I feel that I am on the verge of failure. I often equate a failure with me being a failure. Is it not beautifully poetic the timing of my setback? After weeks of walking with confidence and determination and winning my Willpower badge, I stalled this week. I had a ton of late night meetings this week and was only able to get two days in for walking.
The thought, “Well, why did not you plan for it?” may come up and technically and logically, that question is the most reasonable one, yet also the least relevant from where I stand.
Why I did not plan or how I should have planned are both things that are in the past that I can not control. What failing… failing to live up to my expectations, failing to be 100% on point…has taught me what I consider to be a more salient and timeless lesson— the power of process and reinvention.
When I saw that I did not meet my goal for the week, I initially began to beat up on myself and use the exaggerated and hyperbolic voice of the ever-rigid Superego, “This is why you never reach your goals. You always have some excuse for not being consistent.” What was great about this inner dialogue was that my authentic Self came to be rescue and I believed her, “Out of 4 weeks of training, you missed three days. On the two days that you did walk, you walked 60 minutes on one of those days and 27 on the other”.
This process of not being the best, yet still knowing that I deserved love and could pick myself up to continue my journey to the end showed me that I definitely earned that Willpower badge. Failure is an inextricable part of any journey toward success as long as you keep moving toward your goal.