Intellectually, I know that things come in time. Cognitively I am aware that my envy comes from being unrealistic and unfair to myself. I am also very aware that life has its cycles—reaping, sowing, ebbing and flowing. And that being a big girl is a matter of going with all of them.
And for those of you ladies experiencing financial envy— feeling that what you have now is not enough, comparing yourself to others (real or imagined), here are things that I want to gently remind you:
Understand That Life Could Be Worse So Be Thankful For What You Have:It should not take a financial disaster to make us appreciative of what we have. But sometimes… it does. Learn to be grateful now. Learn to be appreciative that you can pay your rent, car note, and yourself some savings.
Understand That Your Current Financial Situation is Temporary: As you work to pay off your debt, rebuild your credit, and start thinking about retirement, you will begin to see progress and that progress will take you closer to your goals.
Don’t Beat Yourself Up for Past Mistakes: If you spent your rent money swinging from chandeliers in Vegas or on the bag, electronics, or outfit that you just HAD to have, don’t look back. Stroll down memory lane, rock that bag, and wear the hell out of the outfit. What is done is done. You now know better, so you will do better.
Focus On Your Next Paycheck and How You Plan To Improve Your Quality of Life: The best way to overcome envy is by taking action that moves you closer to your goals. If you work a 9-5, you have two opportunities each month to change the course of your financial destiny. Plan accordingly.
Stop Comparing Yourself to Everyone On Facebook and Twitter: If your financial envy comes from wanting to be like __________________ because they keep posting sleek, streamlined pictures of their international jaunts, their fat engagement rings, their new Prada, or Benz, take five big steps away from the internet. Instead of trolling for reasons to be envious, work on building your financial platform and filling yourself with an internal sense of pride and accomplishment.
One of my favorite song’s: Erykah’s Green Eyes
If you’re waiting for a sign that it’s time to make a change, consider this it. Money Therapy may be just what you need to break through your financial blocks and release your money guilt and shame.