When I look back on my childhood, I think I have always known what I wanted to do or be. I wanted to be a business woman, a writer, a model, citizen of the world, and a talk show host. But somewhere between my second grade teacher telling me that my writing was not good enough and my well-intentioned parents telling me to find a good job, little pieces of me broke off and disintegrated into the expectations of the status quo.
I lost my thunder.
But you probably could not tell because I became an intellectual beast–overachiever and perfectionist in things that were of value to many, but not really to me. I had no problem getting degrees from some of the more prestigious schools in this country, writing papers about esoteric topics that brought me definite food for thought but brought me little in the way of wanderlust for the world, deepening my understanding for my purpose in this world, or moving me to make change.
I learned to guard and keep secret my true passions because somehow I learned that my dreams were not as important as others’ expectations and more sadly, I believed that I was not entitled to do what I wanted or what made me happy. Happiness was never a factor in determining whether or not I decided to do something.
After graduating from college, I lived in an emotional vacuum and opted for safe and productive jobs until a couple of years ago, when everything started to fall apart; I realized that I could not live for money, for others, for external validation.
When I returned to Self and found that She was still waiting to be that business woman, writer, model, citizen of the world, and talk show host, I had the muster up the strength and courage not to let her down again.
I succeeded… almost.
After I started Fabulous N’ Frugal at the end of 2013, I started working with my business coach Abiola Abrams on ways to expand the support that I provided frugalistas on this site. I had come up with the idea of having a personal finance and lifestyle “television” show, Fab and Frugal TV. months now.
She loved the idea and told me to set a launch date. I set it for June 1st. I chickened out. I set another for June 24th (and even crafted a press release) and pushed it back again.
After three months of procrastinating, I started to feel like a hypocrite. I thought, “How can I support women to live their juiciest lives when I had essentially given up on actualizing a part of mine?”
When it dawned on me that I was not living with authenticity, it moved me to action. I promised Self that I would not allow h
er, my our dreams to be pushed further from me because I was too afraid to try.
Here is an excerpt of the press release that I wanted to give you guys since June 1st but was chicken to do.(Better late than never, right? :))
“The “Fabulous N’ Frugal” approach to life empowers women to increase their overall happiness (aka “juiciness”) and financial acumen through improving their relationship with money. Through the popular website, www.thefrugalfeminista.com, and on Facebook, Fabulous N’ Frugal has been actively promoting financial self-awareness to would-be “frugalistas” across the globe; but now it’s time to add another new and exciting dimension.
On June 24th, 2013, Fabulous N’ Frugal will launch Fab and Frugal TV, a YouTube personal finance advice show which helps frugalistas learn to live their lives “on purpose”, engage in financial self-care and learn easy-to-implement strategies to bring abundance – whether it be love, wealth, or joy – into their worlds. Each episode on Fab and Frugal TV lasts between 2 and 10 minutes and leaves frugalistas with rewarding “lifework” (instead of homework)to engage in at the end of each show.”
Frugalistas: Is there something that you have put off doing because you are afraid of failure and criticism?
P.S. In the next post, Fab and Frugal TV will debut and I will be proud of myself. 🙂
[info_box type=”alert_box”]Caring for yourself including takes care of your finances. I encourage all ladies who are serious about self-care to go on The Happy Finances Challenge. In 42 days you can learn to make money decisions that will lead to long-term financial happiness. [/info_box]
“I learned to guard and keep secret my true passions because somehow I learned that my dreams were not as important as others’ expectations and more sadly, I believed that I was not entitled to do what I wanted or what made me happy.” This has been one of my life lessons, which actually stopped me from living my life period. It had me scared to just be, and enjoy what I wanted to enjoy. But with the start of my Youtube channel and me realizing that I’m also worth being happy with my life, my decisions and me in general.
Good for you. What is your Youtube channel? I am glad that you are able to share your fear and triumph over it.