As people, I believe we all possess an innate need to share and connect with other human beings. It’s a part of what makes us who we are – no man is an island, right? We celebrate the healthy connections we have with our family, friends, teachers, and mentors. It is this network of people that we go to when we need validation that we are doing something right or when we need support during the times when things are not quite right. But in order for any network like that to truly do its job, it requires a certain amount of vulnerability.
We want our friends to be able to help us when we are in trouble. We want them to be able to give us truthful advice and constructive criticism if we value their opinions. That requires us to be open. It means we have to expose ourselves and put ourselves in a place where we are ready to receive negative feedback, as well as the positive. It requires trust on our part. And a willingness to love. Allowing someone in, in that way, is akin to saying “I give you the power to hurt me but I trust you not to do it”. How can we expose our weaknesses, our fears, and our hearts desires to those we love without giving them the power that having that information yields. Hurt can come in the form of a simple negative word or even a downright evil deed on their part. We’re big girls now and we know full well that not everybody has our best interest at heart. Not even those you call your friends always want to see you succeed. You’ve heard the axiom that most people want to see you do good, just not better than them.
If that truly is the case, then how do you know how much to share? How much can you actually trust someone else with all of your ‘inner secrets’? Whatever you’re going through now, you’re not the first person to experience it. Somewhere out there, there is somebody who can give you some advice and guidance, and some mentorship to help you along the way. But how much of ourselves should we choose to expose to the unknown? How do we know if it’s actually safe? Trust is an earned and sacred thing. It takes time to cultivate. Sometimes it even takes a lot of trial and error, which can be hurtful, making the act of showing vulnerability difficult.
I’m fortunate enough to have friends and family that I trust, people whom I know really have my best interest at heart. I would trust them with my life. But I am still guarded when it comes to certain things. I think that’s healthy. We don’t need to give all of ourselves away to any one person or to any one group of people. Our innermost fears, dreams, desires, and concerns are what make us unique. I say hold on tightly to a part of that at all times. Keep something for yourself. Share what you are passionate about and solicit words of encouragement and constructive criticism from those that you trust. However, I truly believe there is no reason to give it all away.
Sharing is how we forge bonds with those in our lives. So doesn’t it stand to reason that a deeper sense and appreciation of self can be established when we hold on to just a small piece of ourselves for only us?
Now that I got you sharing and bonding with your boo if you’re ready for some financial intimacy and honesty, then you need money therapy.