In light of Women’s Month (well really Women’s History month but modern day women are just as important!) we’re bringing you a three-part series: Saying No Like A Boss
As women we get so tripped up in being nice that we don’t consider our own needs. We give automatic yeses to situations that require nos. We agonize over saying no. What will they think? What if they think I’m a b*itch? What if they don’t ask me again? runs through our heads.
How many events have you attended because it’s good networking but you had no desire to be there? How many times did you agree to be on a committee because you were asked but didn’t want to? How many playdates and birthday parties have you attended that you didn’t want to?
Of course life would be perfect if we could say no to everything we don’t want to do. But that’s not reality. There will always be things that we don’t want to do but still need to be done (dishes, laundry). But imagine cutting out the things you don’t want to do.
Less stress and less resentment = More time for the people and things you love and more happiness.
Take a minute and really think about it. If you could take 30% off your plate right now how would life be and feel different?
Well, you actually can make this a reality. There’s a three-part process to saying no and getting back more time in your life. Acknowledge. Ask. Act.
The first step is to acknowledge your no. Whenever we’re asked to do something that we don’t want to do there’s a brief moment of distaste. Sometimes it yells at us and we ignore it, other times it’s just a whisper of displeasure.
This is your instinct telling you that this is not something that you want to do. Stop ignoring that voice! That’s your instinct/God/a Higher Power speaking to you and helping to guide you. When God is speaking, listen.
In this first step this most important thing to do is listen to your desire to say no. That’s all you have to do for now, just listen.
For the next week pay attention to all of the times that you want to say no. Just make a mental note of:
- who do you want to say no to?
- how are you feeling (tired, overwhelmed) before you receive the request to do something?
- what tasks or things are you saying no to?
You can write it down in a journal or jot down some notes in your phone. Taking stock of it mentally works as well too. The point is to start becoming more aware of the times when you do or agree to things that you don’t want to. For some people that awareness is enough to start saying no! But if you’re like me and many others you may need some more guidance. This is the first in a three-part series. Stay tuned for parts 2 and 3 about Asking and Action. We’ll show you how to stress less and enjoy life more!
In the meantime, tell us what’s worked for you or been hard for you about saying no. We can Learn. Change. Grow. together!