One of my friends once told me that she had an “Aha” experience after reading one of my posts that questioned important questions about self-esteem and self-worth. About five years ago, I visited a therapist to work through a few personal problems, and within twenty minutes, she informed me that I had no self-esteem. Being a clinician myself, I was stunned: who says that? I challenged her and said that I was full of self-esteem and confidence in who I was.
Still, her words stuck with me. I couldn’t help but think that perhaps she was referencing something more. Despite my being perceived as confident by the majority of people, I began to question whether being confident was the sole solution for me to the true questions of self-esteem that must be addressed. It took a few years (and a lecture I was preparing on Personality Psychology) for me to realize that my problem had nothing to do with self-esteem; it had everything to do with self-worth.
Often we use them as synonyms, but they are not the same. Self-esteem refers to the way we appraise ourselves, whereas self-worth refers to the amount of regard and concern we believe we are entitled to. This realization led me to new questions of self-esteem and transformed my relationship to myself, my work, and what I felt to be my value.
After all, self-worth is what dictates whether we expect to be treated well in all the areas of our lives – at work, in friendships, in love. However, if we start asking the right questions about self-esteem, we discover how much of our behavior is based on a feeling of “less than,” and we start the process of knowing we are already enough.
Top Questions About Self-Esteem You Should Ask Yourself
What is the Difference Between self-estimate and self-worth?
This is one of the most important questions on self-esteem because, if you learn the distinction, you are able to determine if you appreciate yourself for external appraisals or internal respect. The approval of other people does not determine true self-worth.
How does childhood influence our self-esteem as adults?
Our experiences with our parents and peers in our early childhood are a large contributor to how we view ourselves. These patterns have been found important to consider when thinking about issues of self-esteem and self-construction.
Is it possible that high self-esteem is unhealthy?
Yes, confidence is useless when it becomes arrogance, when it is a denial of weaknesses: it will be counterproductive. Among the self-esteem questions, the following is a good reminder of the importance of balance and self-awareness.
Why do women tend to apologize too much?
Frequent apologies are an indicator of the subconscious self-worth disorder. This is one of those subtle yet revealing questions about self-esteem that enables us to acknowledge the ways we denigrate ourselves during our day-to-day dealings.
How does Social Media affect national self-esteem?
Dr. Maynor says it can be constant comparison on social platforms that can lead to a distorted self-image and the setting of unrealistic standards. This makes it one of the most current and important questions on self-esteem today.
What is the role of gratitude in the development of self-esteem?
Gratitude serves to refocus our attention from what we don’t have to what we do have, to add power to confidence and contentment. Emotional balance and perspective result from such questions of self-esteem.
How can journaling be used to build self-esteem?
Writing down things will also show the limiting beliefs and personal strengths. It is one of the simplest but effective activities to probe into the issue of self-esteem personally.
Why are we stuck in relationships that no longer work for us?
Often, the cause of this is that we don’t think we deserve better. This reflection has touched very profoundly on issues of self-esteem and our definition of who we are and what we are worth.
What is the link between boundaries and self-esteem?
Healthy boundaries are a product of high self-worth. This question will let you better understand why, by treating yourself, others will treat you with respect as well.
How do we get our self-esteem back after failing?
Failure is not our destiny, but we make ourselves stronger and humbler. This question will reconcile your trust in yourself once again and help you regain your belief in yourself.
Why is self-compassion critical to maintaining self-esteem?
Self-compassion is when you can be kind to yourself when you fail. It’s a needed reminder that true confidence is not found in perfection, but in forgiveness.
How does Self-Talk have an Impact on Self-Esteem?
How you feel about yourself will be determined by what you say to yourself. One of the most powerful questions on self-esteem is that it teaches us that words are powerful, especially those that we tell ourselves every day.
Is self-esteem likely to die away over a period of time?
Of course–it changes with life experiences, healing/growth. Thinking about questions regarding self-esteem, such as this, will help you realize that confidence can be regained at any phase of life.
Why are we so uncomfortable with compliments?
Undeserved praise implies poor self-esteem. This is one of those self-esteem-revealing questions that fills you in with why it may not be comfortable to accept kindness.
What is the impact of achievements on self-esteem?
Accomplishments can help build confidence, but self-esteem can be fragile based on them. Inquiring more deeply into the sense of worth can be a delicious way to make sure your self-worth is not limited by success.
What is the relationship between self-esteem and body image?
Often, the way that we feel about our individual bodies is a reflection of the way we feel about ourselves in general. This is one of the most personal questions relating to self-esteem, and it encourages thought on one’s self-acceptance, other than the way he/she looks.
How does mindfulness help to increase self-esteem?
Mindfulness practice is about being non-judgmentally aware, so that you can have a clear awareness of yourself with compassion. It is such a grounding exercise that gives you the answers to so many queries about self-esteem, while it encourages peace and not perfection.
5 Ways to Investigate Your Level of Self-Worth
1. Pay attention to how many times you say, “sorry,” in a day
Ask yourself why you are even saying sorry. Have you really done something wrong, or is it because you think your presence is an intrusion or that you might not be worthy of the attention called for in the moment, so you attempt to make yourself smaller?
2. Pay attention to how many “thank yous” you say
Are you grateful and surprised, or does it come from a lesser place that says, “I almost don’t feel comfortable with this grace or worthy of this gift.”
3. Examine whether you are in relationships where you would like to be treated better but think, “Well, this is better than nothing.” “He wasn’t there for me when I was grieving the loss of a loved one, but at least he pays the bills.”
4. Recall whether there were times when you wanted to speak up (e.g, negotiate a higher salary, for instance), but thought, “Who am I to ask for more?”
5. Question: “What was behind keeping people in your life longer than you should have?”
Take the time to journal these things and really begin to explore how high or low your self-worth is.
