The Secret to Creating New Healthy Relationship Choices

by Monique Halley

The holidays came and left so fast I hope you were able to be present and enjoy yourself with love ones.

I had a great time. It was a much needed break from the rat race routine. For the 1st time in a while the majority of my family was all together for Christmas and it felt so good. We ate, talked, played taboo, laughed and just enjoyed each others company. We even created this funny thing, where we took selfies with anyone who got caught slipping and fell asleep. It wasn’t the cuties pics but it was a fun bonding experience.

And of course the inevitable question came up…So, what do you want to do new or different for the new year? The responses were around the usual things… improving finances, changing jobs, being more organized, being happier, accomplishing unfinished goals etc. It was my cup of tea because I love talking about what we can do differently in order to have better experiences.

When we talk about making improvements for the new year, relationships are no exceptions because we all want to be happy with the life we’ve created with our significant other.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work out as we hoped.  The topic came up and the person who shared their story expressed that they are at a crossroads in their relationship. It was obvious they were unclear about what to do next. They were unhappy and frustrated about a re-occurring problems over the years but felt stuck with no way out.

There are so many elements that can impact a couples interaction, from finances to work to children, etc. It takes a lot to maintain a healthy relationship. That’s why I believe one of the benefits of being in a romantic relationship is to make life easier for each other; without unhealthy self-sacrificing.  When that’s not the case anymore and you feel unsatisfied or just unhappy it’s time to reflect on the relationship and truly examine the effect it’s having on your life.

The new year is the perfect time to give yourself space and time to do what’s necessary to make the best decision, so you can move forward. It’s so important to know when it’s time to release an unfulfilled relationship, so you can start taking steps to create a fresh start and it’s just as important to know if you should stay, so you can start working on making things better.

You can’t remain in limbo and just hope for things to get better, you have to put in the work. The most effective way to make positive changes in your life is to understand the challenges by defining what you are experiencing in 5 areas of your life. Once you can pinpoint the component(s) of the problem you can focus on what areas you can start making small changes.  Then you have to be honest with yourself about the capability of each party involved and  the ability to make those necessary changes.

It is not an easy decision to just say, I’m leaving because I’m unhappy. How is “unhappy” showing up in the relationship? I’ve learned when you can validate your choices, especially the difficult ones, it makes it easier to move on when others don’t agree with your decision.

I have a really great tool to support you in gaining clarity and reclaiming your personal power in making reasonable choices in your relationship; a clarity worksheet. This worksheet will help you gain a great sense of clarity on your next step, once you’ve answered every question fully & completely. You may discover that your relationship challenges are causing you to cope in an harmful way or you may realize things are not as bad as it seems. One thing you will know for sure is what direction you need to go in.

Here are the 5 areas of your life you will focus on:

  1. Life Situation
  2. Physical reactions
  3. Moods
  4. Behaviors
  5. Thoughts

Sign-up here and get immediate access to this worksheet and a complimentary 20 minute telephone coaching session to address any question about the worksheet.

When you are not honest with yourself about what you are experiencing, you will repeat the same behavior, that will create the same unhappy feelings. Don’t let 2016 meet in the same unfulfilled relationship, start this new year with an intention to make healthier choices that will lead to a more satisfying partnership by signing-up here.

Let’s expand this conversation and share with us in the comment section; what relationships challenges are following you into the new year? I would love to help you create a better experience.

Monique is the founder of Simply Bliss, a personal development company for women, with a focus on relationship clarity. Sessions are offered on-line & in-person for women who want to release unhealthy relationships, heal from broken ones and learn to love again. Get immediate access to a free relationship relationship worksheet. Sign-up here:.http://bit.ly/relationshipclaritycoachingsignup

Learn more about Monique’s work at: http://www.radicalselfie.com/reclaim/

Connected with Monique at her favorite spot to be social:  instagram.com/simplyblissliving

[info_box type=”alert_box”]If you want to practice self-care, you have to care for your finances.  My book, The Happy Finances Challenge, is designed to help you learn to make money decisions that will lead to long-term financial happiness in just 42 days. [/info_box]

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