Why I Learned to Say No and Not Feel Bad About It

How many times have you ever dragged yourself out of the house or stopped by somewhere on the way home and you really didn’t feel like it?  You probably did it because you told someone that you would be there at a certain time, and you don’t want to break your promise.  Trust me.  I’ve been there, and continue to struggle with how I manage my time and my commitments.

Oftentimes we say “yes” even when we want to say “no” because we feel obligated or that we just don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings.  However, it is important to remember that when we say “yes” to something we inevitably say “no” to something else.  For example, if we agree to stop by an event when you really just want to stay home and relax or do something else, then we just said “no” to ourselves.

It’s so easy to get lost in what is going on around us, and our desire to always be seen that it becomes easy to forget our own needs.  Here are three reasons why it you should say no and be totally unapologetic about it.

  1. It is a part of self-love.  Saying “no” allows us to focus on our needs.  Sometimes it is good to be selfish.  Being selfish with our time gives us the space that we need to recharge our batteries and think through the needs that we have and the vision that we have in our own life.
  2. Allows us to spend time with God.  In church the pastor said that you never want to be so busy that you can’t spend time with God.  When we are being lead by His spirit, then we need to have that alone time to actually hear where He is guiding us.
  3. Gives us space to be missed.  Do you really want to be that person who is everywhere?  Think about it.  Before Beyoncé released her surprise album, she hadn’t released an album in 2 years.  This gave people time to miss hearing new music from her and guess when it was going to be released.  If we are always available, then when we actually do commit and spend time somewhere, it’s less special.  Don’t get me wrong.  Please use this advice wisely.  If you have a significant other, then don’t play games.  We must give the person the time that they deserve without losing ourselves in the process.

It’s important to say “no,” however we need to think before we commit up front to avoid exhaustion, which leads to last minute cancellations.  This seems super obvious, but it is also very difficult.  It’s easier to say no to ourselves and yes to other people.  However, if we learn how to say no to others we can avoid overextending ourselves and love ourselves enough to make time for our needs and executing the vision for our lives.

If you like this then, join the FNPhenomenal Community to learn how to “Live More. Spend Less” and be financially phenomenal.  Click here to join and learn how to Live Phenomenally.

Aisha Taylor is a #1 Amazon Best Selling Author of the book “5+5 FNPhenomenal Ways to Save $100 This Week Without Killing Your Lifestyle”, the Founder of FNPhenomenal (Frugal –n- Phenomenal), and creator of The Live Phenomenal Program.  The Live Phenomenal Program is a program designed to give you the tools that you need to totally transform your finances, and stop living from paycheck-to-paycheck. It’s time for you to be Financially Phenomenal!  Join now at www.FNPhenomenal.com/live.

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