“You know what’s really, powerfully sexy? A sense of humor… A taste for adventure… Smart-ass comebacks… A quick wit… Dirty jokes told by an innocent looking lady.”–Courtney E. Martin

 Any worthy dating prospect will tell you there’s nothing sexier than a woman who can hold her own in conversation and respond with quick wit in unexpected ways. It communicates a sense of confidence and daringness… a willingness to be unguarded. Most of all, it gives you presence and an air of intelligence.

In this post, I’m going to give you Frugalista’s some tips to being witty and carefree and in so doing prime your sexy.

1. Be quick. Wittiness by definition has to do with being quick and clever.

Timing is everything. When it comes to wit the time you spend processing your thoughts may be a missed opportunity.

2. Say whatever comes to your mind.  We often self-monitor and are careful about the things that come out of our mouth.  While there are certain contexts where it isn’t appropriate to let just any old thing roll from your tongue, using your judgment, practice letting your guard down a little.  Forget the self-monitoring and say whatever unpolished thing comes to your mind.

Wit is about delivering the unexpected.

3. Don’t be invested in the outcome. Let your goal be to just be yourself.  You don’t even have to aim to be funny. Most people that are funny are just funny. In fact, they may even seem nonchalant about whatever it is they’re saying.

Wit doesn’t try hard.

4. Engage in Banter. Wit is best when it is like a tennis ball hit from one side of the court to the other. Granted, there are some people unskilled at being quick in thought and confident enough to return the quip, but if you can find “in’s” in the conversation to tease a little, this may open the door for the other to be engaged and comfortable enough to go back and forth with you a little.

People love to feel like you’re paying attention to them and building on the things they say with humor will go a long way to making them feel things for you. 

5. Know a little something. Let’s face it. Witty people are also most likely intelligent people.  They use metaphors and other antics that help in their delivery, but in order to use metaphors you have to be an observer of life and know how to make connections to seemingly unconnected concepts.

 Polish your wit with a little knowledge of popular culture, words of a song or a good book.

6. Keep your ears open for opportunities to weave in earlier jokes.

Think about your favorite stand up routine. The trick of the trade is being able to tell a story while using a common thread that unites all of what you’re saying.

The popularity of the phrase, “That’s what she said,” from televisions, The Office, was not only funny because it most often came at unawares, but also because it built on earlier jokes making laugher roll that much easier.

7. End on a high note. There’s nothing less sexy than someone who’s trying to be funny, but just doesn’t know when to end.  You laugh the first time, the second, maybe even the third, but ALRIGHT, ENOUGH, it’s not funny anymore! Please, I beg, don’t be that girl! Allow enough space in time between uses of earlier jokes.

Be like a comedian. Hypothetically drop the mike and end the show while everyone’s still laughing.

 Sexy has less to do with what you wear and more to do with your energy. Be confident, witty and sexy. Did you win you mate with your quick wit? Tell us about it below.

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