Good Afternoon Frugalistas,
Last week, I promised that I would update you on the “Shopping In My Closet Challenge.” This week was definitely easier than last week. I did not have the urge to shop until Friday. This past Friday, I left work early and found myself wandering the streets of my favorite shopping area. In the spirit of transparency, I looked around–touched, tried on, and sampled–but DID NOT buy.
It was hard, but what got me to leave the clothes in the stores were the questions that I asked myself on the way to the register. These questions or self-coaching cues gave me enough insight to help me get my money mindset right.
Questions that I had to answer in order to keep me from shopping impulsively.
1. What am I saving for? It is easy to spend mindlessly when you don’t have a savings goal. Some people just can’t save for savings sake. In my 20s, I was saving for an emergency fund, paying down my student loans, and to begin investing. Since I met all of those goals, and I am not sure that I want to buy a home, I had to think about a new savings goal. Right now, what’s keeping me out of the stores is my trip to London that is scheduled for August. Honestly, though, this goal does not do it for me, so let’s just say it will do the job, until I find something meaningful that I could really put my money toward.
Frugalistas:What are you saving for?
2. How am I feeling right in this moment? I got out of work early on Friday and had a couple of hours on my hand. So instead of rushing home to add to my blog, call up a girlfriend, or rest, (all things I say I have NO time for) I decided that I would head out to one of my favorite stores, just to “look.” After an hour, I had three articles of clothing that I was “just holding on to”, but as I walked to the register, I thought to myself, “Why are you doing this, Kara?”
I answered myself.
“I’m kinda bored, it’s a habit, I self-sabotoge a lot, and Friday means ‘recreation and leisure’ and ‘recreation and leisure’ mean shopping. Friday is a day to unwind and I unwind with a purchase.”
This momentary pause really gave me food for thought. I am DEFINITELY a saver, but my relationship with spending can still do some work.
Frugalistas: What is your internal dialogue when it comes to buying when you don’t really need to buy?
3. Would___________ (name of person) be proud if they knew I was in here shopping? Whether it be lying to yourself or to your loved ones, knowing that you should do better can create enough guilt or shame to keep you towing the line. I thought about my commitment to authenticity, good faith, and transparency with my Fabulous N’ Frugal readers and my husband.
4. Don’t I have something like this already? I picked up a plum sweater dress, a cute brown shoulder bag, and a coat. I really, really liked them. But then I realized that I “really, really liked them” because I already had similar things in my closet which I rarely wore. In that moment, I saw how silly I was being–both financially and sartorially.
Frugalistas: Ever experience dejavu with an item?
If you need deeper work around healing your relationship with money or overcoming your blocks and fears, maybe it’s time for some money therapy.