Having Problems Connecting with Who You Are? Here’s the Solution.

By Monique Halley

I’m deep into self-exploration processes because I know how beneficial it is to understanding who you are and how that transfers into making decisions in your relationships. When you have that sense of clarity, you’re more likely to engage in situations and relationships that enhances and improve the quality of your life.

I want to share this insightful tool with you called Archetype. This is one of my go-to strategies when I feel some sort of disconnect from who I am and need to be reminded of a major part of my true self. Archetype focuses on behavior patterns that motivates everything you do and I believe this self-examination tool can support you along your relationship journey.

One of my past downfalls in relationships has been not having a strong sense of self. Because of that I didn’t make conscious choices based on who I was and what I wanted. Instead my choices were formed around what others wanted and needed. I used to go along with it and in the end that approach never served me. This can show up in any type of relationship that we deem important and for this reason I encourage you to always stay connected to who you are.

Taken from the website: What is an Archetype? Simply put, an archetype is a pattern of behaviors that, once discovered, helps you better understand yourself and others. Once you know your archetypes, the world becomes much easier to navigate. Based on your archetypes, you can make more inspired choices about everything from relationships to excelling at work to choosing a piece of clothing. Through the prism of those archetypes, the world is clearer. You can live a truly empowered life knowing which doors you should walk through and which are best left unopened. Knowing your archetypes gives you the vocabulary to help you understand yourself and others better.  

Doesn’t that arouse your curiosity about what your archetypes are? I hope so.

I want to share with you one example of how discovering and studying my archetypes has helped me modify and embrace my behavior patterns. Hopefully this will inspire you to set aside sometime to practice this self-exploration technique.

My strongest archetype is a Caregiver and it has been very helpful for my relationship between my son and I. This archetype manifested in my life because my son has 3 chronic illnesses; which was diagnosed between the ages of 3 months thru 1yrs old. He’s now 10yrs old (just to give you an idea of how long I’ve been a caregiver). It was something that was unexpected, however I had to automatically get into caregiver mode with no prior knowledge on how to create balance between taking care of my son and myself simultaneously.

What I learned from understanding my archetype:

  • How to be mindful of how much help I should give my son and the importance of it. I had to make sure to avoid having him become too dependent on me and instead work towards reaching his own independence. Before I used to practically complete a task for him because I didn’t want him to struggle through it, but now I’ve learned to pull back and let him wrestle through it no matter how long it would take or how frustrated he got. I always made sure I explained to him, why I shifted my behavior so the change wouldn’t seem like it’s coming from a unsupportive place. I had to adjust my overly helpful ways and apply some tough love, which was hard as hell but I knew it’s for his own good. After trying this approach several times, he realized he can finish an activity on his own and it increased his confidence, gave him a sense of independence and I was able to focus on other things.
  • Secondly I had to work at not over extending myself to the point of draining my energy with nothing left for myself. I needed to make sure I had enough strength and eagerness to handle my affairs and focus on my desires instead of putting in on the back burner. Throughout this shift; I’ve learned to practice self-care by way of making sure I have “me” time and that has made a major difference in maintaining my sanity. And when I’m feeling rested I’m better prepared to fulfill my caregiver duties.
  • In regards to embracing my archetype as a caregiver, I’ve been able apply life skills I’ve developed such as emotional resilience, inner strength and effective listening skills into my work as a relationship coach.

Having a clear understanding of who I am at my core allows me to adjust behaviors that are not serving me; in order to create healthier relationships with others, like my son in this case.

If this resonates with you, take the quiz and explore your 3 Archetypes. I would love to learn more about our Frugal Feminista readers and don’t forget to share your 3 in the comment section below.

If you’re curious about my other 2 archetypes, this link tell you about all 3 of them. We might have some things in common: https://www.archetypes.com/user/me/view/quiz-results

Monique is the founder of Simply Bliss, a personal development company for women, with a focus on relationship clarity. Sessions are offered on-line & in-person for women who want to release unhealthy relationships, heal from broken ones and learn to love again. Get immediate access to a free relationship worksheet. Sign-up here: http://bit.ly/freeworksheetdownload

Learn more about Monique’s work at: http://www.relationshipclaritycoaching.com/my-work/

Connect with Monique at her favorite spot to be social: https://instagram.com/relationshipclarity/

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