~Jennifer Ritchie Payette, co-author, “Modular Career Design”
I had a nice apartment on the good side of town. I had just gotten a new(er) car. I was able to fit new shoes or an outfit into my monthly budget. I made happy hour or eating out a part of my budget, and maintain a decent savings. I had weekends & holidays off. All of this sounds great, right? However, this is how my journal read:
I’m feeling stuck. I have zero desire to move up with my current employer. I look every day for a job that makes we want to spend the time and effort drafting a new cover letter and tweaking my resume; I never find one. I don’t really like this city, and my dating life is like a bad (or worse than depending on how you feel) Tyler Perry movie. I want to be near my family. I need a change, I have to make a change. But what…How??
This was a portion out of my personal journal. This is how I was feeling 6 months before I decided I to quit my job w/out any prospects. While I had mixed feelings about giving up my own space, quitting my job, and moving back to my hometown, I did it. It hasn’t been all ponies and unicorns, but I have no regrets and would even suggest that taking a step back may be a solution for anyone that has similar feelings. Moving back to the town I worked so hard to get out of, made me feel like all of my hard work was in vain. Going back to the job I held as new college graduate made me feel like I was pedaling backwards. Waking up in a place without my own space or belongings and knowing it was sitting in a storage unit made me feel like I had made all of the wrong choices in life. This was uncomfortable, but it felt like I had a chance to make the life I wanted. This move wasn’t easy, but here is how you can push through a step back when it feels like a set back:
A step back is RESET!! They say “hindsight is 20/20” and most of us would agree. My friends have often discussed what we would do differently if we could go to our high school graduation day. While none of us can go back that far, you can take a step back and take a different path to your happiness. Yes, you will have to scale back your lifestyle. Yes, people will look at you like you are crazy and question your decisions. Yes, you will even question your own decisions at times. Just know this you are stepping back to make a different move, to have a different life. The feelings, just like the scaling back, will be temporary. In a few years when other people are still stuck in the same job, relationship, or city, be proud of the courage you had to stop living your unhappy life. Throughout your process you have to remember the journey you previously took- the highs and lows.
You must remember your previous mistakes. Remember them, but do not dwell on them. The beauty of taking a step back and resetting is you have life experience. You have lived and you have a wealth of knowledge from it! Did you have a bad attitude about life? Did you not put in as much effort as you should have to get the job you really wanted? Did you not take care of YOU? Were you living to make someone else happy? Hell even if you did something illegal, and have a criminal record as a result of it, you learned a lesson from your choices and actions. Don’t let those mistakes hinder you, view them as lessons in what not to do. [Tweet “Moving Forward sometimes requires you to take a step back”]
You must also remember your accomplishments. Keep in mind you are stepping back/down/away from something and it took real effort to get there, despite it not being the place you want to be. You have survived working and going to school, you have survived not have a lot of spending money, you have survived not taking a vacation every year. You have had to put in work to reach a goal, so putting in the work isn’t new. No matter if you lost weight to only gain it back plus some, went to school and graduated into a job you hate or sacrificed for a love that failed-you has been to the mountaintop, now you just have to prepare to climb a new mountain.
Feministas, have you taken a step back? How did you push through a reset that felt like a setback? Share your experience with FF community!!
[info_box type=”alert_box”]Caring for yourself including takes care of your finances. I encourage all ladies who are serious about self-care to go on The Happy Finances Challenge. In 42 days you can learn to make money decisions that will lead to long-term financial happiness. [/info_box]