You Get the Relationship You Work For, Not Deserve

7by Tonya Ladipo

As human beings were designed to desire connection and relationships. It’s essential to our basic human needs. We all want healthy relationships. We want people to treat us kindly and with respect. We want to feel cherished and loved. Whether the affection and intention comes from a partner, parent, child, friend, or sibling we all want to feel loved.

 You don’t get the relationship you deserve, you get the relationship you work for.

And often we make the mistake of thinking that an easy, healthy relationship awaits us at all times. I recently heard this sentiment, “You don’t get the relationship that you deserve, you get the relationship that you work for.” Developing a healthy and loving relationship requires focus and attention. Whether the relationship is chosen (friends, dates, partners) or given to you by birth, strong, solid relationships require your time, energy, and commitment.

Before investing this time, energy, and commitment into relationships you need to answer two important questions for yourself:

  1. Do I want this person in my life?
  2. Does this person add value to my life?

Don’t gloss over this very important exercise. So often people want love and relationships but they don’t consider the actual person who is in front of them. Pull out your journal, notepad, or computer and take your time answering these important questions.

Share your  thoughts and experiences in the comments section. Let’s Learn. Change. Grow. together!

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